Dee Valladares Reveals the One Move That Actually Destroyed Her ‘Survivor 50’ Game (Exclusive)

Survivor 50 is here! Every week, Parade‘s Mike Bloom will bring you interviews with the castaway most recently voted off the island.

Dee Valladares walked into Survivor 50 with no fear. It was a bit of a surprising mindset, considering that not only was she coming into the season as one of only three winners, but the most talked-about among them, having put together one of the most dominant performances in recent memory. But that made her even more eager to go “tip top toes” with some absolute legends from Survivor past, and prove why she is one of the best to ever do it. And, to quote a song from a rather important country artist to her, she was ready to wade “Knee Deep” in blood to get there.

Of course, the game kicked off with some of Dee’s tribe members plotting her immediate “Dee-mise.” But, like her winning season, she found her people early on, namely her fellow new era women in Tiffany Ervin and Kamilla Karthigesu. Additionally, it seemed like she had a working relationship with Jonathan Young, as well as a connection outside the game with Charlie Davis. The boys were about to realize, however, how those dynamics completely changed with the color of a buff.

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Dee swapped into the majority on her new tribe, and immediately began targeting Cirie Fields, per the words of her best friend. But, facing her first Tribal Council, Rizo Velovic seemed like the consensus boot. She wasn’t ready to take the “Dee-sy” outcome, though, eager to take the game into her own hands. So she brought together an alliance of her so-called “enemies” on the tribe in Rizo and Cirie (as well as her previous ally in Kamilla) to turn the tables on the men. Seeing Charlie’s behavior as both threatening and questionable, she chose to set his chances of winning “On Fire,” organizing his blindside.

While the “Blood Moon” twist threw a massive wrench in the game, Dee continued her position in the catbird seat. She essentially had the pick of which old-schooler would get the boot in Coach Wade and Colby Donaldson. She ultimately elected to send the latter packing, and would immediately begin to rue her decision. The next day, both Jonathan and Coach came at her for lying to them, prompting a blow-up at camp. She had no idea that, in keeping Coach, she had made him revert back to his previous identity as the “Dragon Slayer,” and she was the new beast to be slain. Of course, Dee wasn’t helping her case either when she became the latest person to find out the hard way not to trust Emily Flippen with a secret. Her fellow Season 45 contestant leaked the information Rizo had told Dee about his idol, making her seem untrustworthy. And so, the people she fought valiantly to keep in the game, alongside the vast majority of the tribe, joined together to vote Dee out of the game for the first time. But, while she had her torch snuffed for the first time, it’s safe to say her fiery feelings towards her cast are not going away any time soon.

Now out of the game, Dee talks with Parade about the actual reason she turned on Charlie, her confrontation with Jonathan and Joe, and her response to the allegations that she pregamed with Rizo.

Related: Read our Survivor 50 pre-game interview with Dee Valladares

Let’s start with where things ended. You clearly tried everything to try to keep yourself in the game, from getting up and whispering to people at Tribal Council to playing your Shot in the Dark. By the time you get up to vote, did you think you had actually moved the needle with anybody?
I was always gonna play my Shot in the Dark. But Mike, I was going home. It had been solidified. My name had been out since Episode 1. People wanted me out. And it’s a smart move. They wanted me out because of the threat, but I tried to sway it to Coach. I knew people were getting so super annoyed with him, so I tried to do that. I wasn’t gonna go down without a fight. And I’m very happy that at least I tried something and provided some entertainment, because I already knew I was going home.

Let’s go back to the beginning of the game. You claim that your name was on quite a few people’s lips. Charlie has said that, apparently, people were telling him that you were playing “too hard” early on. Were you aware of this perception?
I was, because I was extremely paranoid. Because it was Coach, Jonathan and Chrissy on one end, and then me, Tiff and Kamilla. And then that left Mike and Charlie in the middle. So I know Charlie mentioned that that is the reason why I turned on him. It was absolutely not the reason. As far as playing hard, yeah, absolutely, I’m gonna play hard! Because we go to Tribal, it’s either me or Chrissy, and I don’t want to go home. But I do think, had we gone to Tribal, it would have been Chrissy.

How did that alliance with Tiffany and Kamilla form?
Mike, it was natural. The moment we just looked into each other’s eyes, it’s like, “Alright, we’re gonna have fun playing this game.” And we really did. Even if we didn’t go to Tribal, we had a blast. The way that we were strategizing, laughing at each other, talking with Mike and Charlie. I do feel like they were more on our side, and we were having a blast with them too. The only people that really weren’t fun were Jonathan, Chrissy and Coach. And even then, like Coach, the human moments where you’re not really talking about game, he’s cool people too. So it was a lot of fun. I love those girls.

When you change camps, a lot of dynamics change in the process. I want to get into some of these relationships, starting with Cirie. Your best friend told you before you left to go for her the first opportunity you can. But you end up not only not targeting her for a couple of votes, but even working with her. Talk to me about your dynamic. Did you have your best friend in your head the entire time?
No, I forgot about that. I know I said in the confessional, but other than that, I forgot about it. Here’s the thing, Mike, let me clear the air. I was never going to go for Cirie. Never. I love playing with threats. I love playing with strong women, with strong players, and Cirie is a person I love. And I’d rather have somebody in the game that I enjoy, cracking jokes with, and we can also strategize. But from the get-go, like on that tribe, Jonathan was coming for Cirie immediately. Cirie and I would only talk at night. We would never talk during the day, because we were afraid of people seeing us together. She’d wake me up; I’d wake her up. So we talk about strategy and stuff. But I was never was gonna come for Cirie. It was just the conversation that you saw, I’m agreeing to something Jonathan’s saying. Because I’m not gonna say, “No, we can’t vote her off.” You want to do that? Sure, but I’m gonna tell her. [Laughs.]

You end up forming this bond with Rizo that leads to you targeting Charlie over him. Charlie has alleged in interviews that the two of you spoke before the game began. Is that true, and what were your interactions upon actually being on the beach together?
I have a lot of good things to say about Rizo. I’m sure people in exit press will not have good things to say about him. But let me tell you that boy, man, whatever he is, is so self-aware. I see him like a little brother, and he was so fragile out there, because he had just played 49 too. He is so self-aware and very, very funny. That guy is so funny. So immediately from meeting him, super funny.

But actually, I do want to clear the air, because it’s something that I’ve been dying to talk about. So Rizo and I, we did have a FaceTime conversation. But here’s the thing, Mike, this little gremlin Rizo lied to me on that FaceTime call and told me that Savannah got fifth place and he got fourth or something like that. So, going into 50 every single preseason interview, I said I did not want to be near Season 49 because they were all playing games. Every preseason interview, I said, “I do not like them,” and that was because I knew that Rizo lied to me. So actually, going into 50, I did not trust Rizo.

Here’s the thing. It actually was not a good thing that we had that call, because I didn’t trust him. But the thing that you need to ask yourself is, he’s not complaining about the call; everyone has conversations. But the question we need to ask ourselves is, what was the intent behind mentioning that? And I think — I’m not saying it’s the truth; this is my belief — that it was a way to try to diminish my gameplay, or maybe even Rizo’s. And the thing is, I did not trust Rizo when we split on that beach, because he lied to me in the real world. But that just goes to show you how great Rizo’s gameplay was. We have a conversation and it’s like, “Oh, we kind of click. We think about this game in the same way. How is it that I trust Rizo, and I just met him so much more than Charlie, who I’ve known for a while?” So I just think that’s great play on Rizo’s part. I love Rizo. He’s awesome.

Let’s stick with Charlie. As you mentioned, you came into the season with a relationship outside of the game. But you at one point say, “He’s the dumbest person here.” Was there a specific point where your opinions changed on him?
Yeah, I’ll tell you specifically when it changed. It started in OG Kalo. I had a fashion show. I made everyone wear the opposite sex’s clothing. The guys all thought I had an advantage. Charlie knew about this. Charlie never told me about this, never once. And then I found out about it, not through Charlie. And it made me think, “If I had an ally, I would let them know what people are saying. You give me a little sprinkle. You’re playing too hard, but this is pretty big. People think I have an advantage from this fashion show on Season 50. Anything can happen.”

But there are things in the game where you kind of pinpoint as you go day by day, it was starting to accumulate. For example, Mike went on the reward, and Charlie immediately was like, “Hey, let’s go grab water.” He’s the first person to talk to Mike. He doesn’t come back and share any information with me. And maybe this is going to be helpful for future players. If you’re going to make your rounds, because everyone talks in the game, you have to strategize with every single person out there. Do not make your rounds in front of other people in their faces. Like Mike, if you and I talk, and two seconds later, I’m talking to your enemy, what?! Or I’m going up to Charlie, Jonathan and Coach, and I’m like, “Oh, what’s up?” And they changed the conversation. I mean, the vibe was just not there. And I think, like he mentioned, it was just our gameplay is just different. And I think that’s what it came down to.

So, were you looking to target him? Or was the decision more spur-of-the-moment?
No, it wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment. I had my wits about him on OG Kalo because he was trying to play it too safe. And Kamilla said it in one of the confessionals. His game is too slow. His gameplay is getting all information, and everybody wanted to play with him, but he doesn’t want blood right now. If you’re not outwardly showing, “I’m very open. Hey, Kamilla, Tiff, I’m with you. I will go to war with you.” If I’m not doing that, then I’m being a little bit sneaky, because I’m keeping my options open. Which is great. It’s f—king great. I can’t play that game like that; I wish I could. But I guess don’t do it in too obvious of a way. Because at that point, everyone was like, “Where’s Charlie’s head at?”

You continue to hold the power position at the “Blood Moon” Tribal Council. It seems like you, Cirie and Emily hold the power to get rid of either Colby or Coach. Obviously, given the fact that Coach came so hard after you, and that Colby would have been immediately medevaced if he survived, it may be a decision you look back on differently now. But talk to me about what led you to vote out Colby.
So I wanted Coach out initially. Either way, any of them gone would be good for my game. They’re not in my alliance. Coach, as soon as we split, he’d go to Emily and be like, “Well, what are we gonna do? We can’t take Dee out. She has immunity.” And that’s why you hear Emily saying he’s being messy. We all caught on to it. So both of them being gone, obviously, in hindsight, we didn’t know how bad Colby’s foot was. We didn’t know he had an infection. We just knew that he was limping.

But I really wanted to play with Colby, honestly. When you sit down with Colby, and granted, that was the one day that we actually tried to play together. He’s a very sincere guy, and I said that in my confessionals. When you talk to him, you’re like, “Oh, what he’s telling me is true.”

However, it was a few things. The people that he was aligned with, I didn’t want to align with them. They were coming for me since the get-go. Chrissy was coming hard for me since OG Kalo. Which is sad, because if we had united our powers, we could have done damage. I don’t know why she came at me so hard. But yeah, I didn’t want to align with Colby’s people, and I knew I was always going to be the end of any alliance. And either way, you could tell me you’re going to help me out, and they’re you’re going to still vote me out. So at this point, I’m going to try to solidify an alliance with Cirie. That’s what she wants out? Good. I’m down for it.

Let’s get into the confrontation that happens the next day between you and Jonathan at the hammock. It seemed like, when you talked to him after the Charlie vte, things seemed alright, with you even commending him on how well he was taking it. So what was your reaction when he began to call you out for betraying him?
I was a little bit surprised, but not so much. When you’re playing with Jonathan, you know who he’s going for, you know who he’s with, and he’s gonna stick by those people. But again, I also knew he was coming for me. This war had already started; it was a matter of who was gonna get who out first, or who was gonna strike first. And he felt blindsided by Charlie. But you were trying to come for me way before that!

Walk me through your perspective during that argument. Did you realize he was trying to get a rise out of you, as he alluded to in his confessional?
So basically what you saw wasn’t exactly how it happened. So what happened was me and Jonathan were having a conversation, and he asked me if I trusted Coach. And I said no, which I should have said yes. But at that point, I don’t care; I was going home anyway. This was right before Tribal. And so Jonathan goes back to Coach and says, “Dee doesn’t trust you.” And so that was where he did a great job, because obviously, Coach got riled up. So that’s when you see me walking to the hammock. I called Jonathan, “You little s—thead.” That’s my way of banter. So basically, I go up to Coach. I’m like, “You look sad. Are you okay?” And that’s when he was like, “No, you’re lying. You said that you don’t trust me.” I don’t think they even showed that part.

So basically, what really got me riled up wasn’t Jonathan necessarily saying that I’m lying or whatever. It was him inserting himself in a conversation he shouldn’t have inserted himself into. And then you see Joe coming. And so the mixture of these people in front of me made me so upset. And at that point, I knew I was going home, so I am not going to stay quiet. If I’m going home, I might as well f—king provide entertainment, because I know everybody sitting on the logs are going to love it. I’m loving it because I’m telling you stuff. I was holding back; I shouldn’t have held back. So basically, it came from that. And in that moment, I didn’t know that he was doing it to rile me up.

Do you really think that one of your biggest mistakes was being “too fiery” with Jonathan?
That is not the reason why I went home. I was already going to go home. Either way, I was going to go home. Whether this vote, the next, they wanted me out. And understandably so, but I was okay with it, because I made the jury. In my head, I’m like, “Send me home whenever! I’m gonna go have a drink, I’m gonna go eat. I made the jury, I’m good.” I went against all odds.

I think what really blew up my game was I broke Rizo’s trust. And I said it in my exit; they just didn’t show it. I’m like, “I feel really hurt that I spilled a secret.” Because I don’t do that. I play a very loyal game. When I’m with you, I’m with you, and I will ride and die for you, even if it means at the detriment of my own game. And the people that I’m aligned with know that.

And so basically, I screwed Rizo over. And then all week he was sick and he had to see a doctor. And I’m here like, “Oh my God, this poor kid. He’s trying to solidify his legacy, and I’m here screwing it up.” But at the same time, I knew going into 50 that I’m coming in with such a target that I am okay with making mistakes. I want to try new things. And, in hindsight, obviously the new thing that I tried was going against my moral of keeping a secret and not screwing over an ally. And obviously, Cirie, Chrissy, Stephenie, all these people wanted me out. So at that point, they’re not going to ruin the game for me. And understandably so.

The reason why Rizo found out you revealed his idol was that you had told Emily. Talk to me about the relationship you had with your fellow Survivor 45 player. What was your reaction when you found out she leaked that information?
Dude, the moment that I told her about the idol, I immediately regretted it. The moment it came out of my mouth. I don’t think that’s ever even happened to me. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever said something and immediately regretted it that fast. I guess it was maybe my intuition. I love Emily. She’s amazing. She’s great TV. Was I sad about it? Yes, of course. But I went into the game wanting to protect Emily, and I wish she wouldn’t have turned. I think I could have been a shield for her.

I would have never voted for her, because you’ve got to remember, I was the reason she was voted off, right? But she was also one of the reasons why I won a million dollars. So part of me was okay with blowing up my game to benefit hers. And I think for her, it was more like she didn’t want to lose to the same person twice. It’s embarrassing. I mean, I get it. We’re all humans. But that’s my girl. I don’t care. Like, do your thing! We obviously talked. We actually talked yesterday, and we were just laughing. She sent me a voice memo, and I didn’t even hear it. I go, “Emily, I’m not gonna hear this. I don’t want to hear an apology. I don’t care. I love Survivor, but genuinely, it’s over. I love you. Thank you for whatever you said in this. But I’m not gonna hear it.” [Laughs.]